Report by Daniel Mortlock:
Harlton's Angry Wasp Oval lived up to its name today, as the general experience of the afternoon was not far removed from that of a trapped wasp buzzing around inside a jar that it would desperately like to escape. The ground itself also brings home just how good we have it at Trinity: where there the pitch is hard and true, here it was soft and unpredictable; where there the outfield is flat and smooth, here it was undulating, bumpy and pot-holed; where there the changing rooms are spacious, here they were sufficiently cramped that we had to operate in shifts; and where there several flush toilets are available for use, here there's a choice between a roofless shed and a port-a-loo that's surrounded by barbed wire because it's not plumbed into anything. Add in a horendous cross-wind, several bursts of rain, and a couple of opposition players who seemed to have graduated from David Warner Charm School, and it really was a bit of a struggle to find the joy in what is, in theory at least, a leisure activity.
The day began with Andy calling an impromptu team meeting to drop the bombshell that, after (almost) 37 seasons and 500-odd games, he was stepping down as club captain, effective immediately. While it had been clear for a season or two that Andy wanted to take more of a back seat, it wasn't quite so obvious what prompted this dramatic announcement, and even less so what to do next. Cam gallantly took on what effectively is a "caretaker captain" role 'til the end of the season, confident in knowledge that Andy would take naturally to his new on-field role, joining the ranks and not, for example, moving fielders or getting into on-field debates with members of the opposition. Thus empowered, Cam won the toss and immediately demonstrated how things were going to be very different under his leadership by . . . electing to bowl. Well, it did make sense as we were a bit short on batting and there was at least some chance that conditions might improve later on.
It seemed briefly as if Cam had the Midas touch, as Harlton's opening partnership didn't last the first over, Daniel Mortlock's (1/14) third delivery curving in with the cross-wind to ricochet off the batsman's pads and knock the bails off. The bails ended up on the ground at regular intervals over the next two hours . . . although mainly because the wind kept blowing them out of their grooves; and, after repeatedly having to stop the game to replace them, we ended up doing without for most of the match. The Harlton 2nd wicket pair rode their luck initially - both were dropped while still in single figures - before eventually playing themselves in, at least to the degree that this was possible on this pitch. Their unified strategy was to hit anything loose as hard as possible, and while that's hardly a radical cricketing idea, it was particularly effective today, as most of our bowlers delivered at least one four ball an over, and most of these lived up to the name.
Following a rain break - or, really, a howling gale break, with the rain "falling" almost horizontally - we did make a bit of a comeback as Owens Andy (2/36) and Catherine (1/37) took 3 wickets in the space of 4 overs, and there was some hope of restricting the opposition to a chaseable total. Unfortunately, some good hitting by Harlton's 5th wicket pair took them past 200. Our only other joy was when Stephan van Eeden (1/48) comprehensively bowled his countryman, thus exacting perfect revenge for being sledged in Afrikaans. While the wind and terrible outfield had made it all but impossible to genuinely field well, there were a few stand-outs, with Sam Thomas ignoring his spectacularly-bandaged (if not spectacularly injured) knee to make some great chases, Huw Davies and Nathan Wright doing great work closer in, and 'keeper Cam Petrie stopping a lot of leg-side dross. And while we didn't take any catches, Catherine and Nathan both went within inches of stunning grabs off hard-hit shots, even if in the end all they had to show for their dedication was a pair of bruises.
It was obvious from early on that our chase was going to be pretty tricky as Harlton's old hands demonstrated how to bowl on this pitch, in particular eschewing pace for control to make sure there were no "gimme" balls. Cam Petrie (13 off 43 balls) responded to this by being disciplined himself, particularly to anything straight, but he had perhaps taken this a bit too far in scoring just 7 singles from his first 40 deliveries. He then went up a gear, hitting a spectacular six . . . only be beaten by a good in-swinger two balls later and adjuged LBW. Our other opener, Vaughan Wittorf (18 off 29 balls), took the opposite approach, trusting his eye to smack some spectacular shots off middle stump . . . although it was no surprise that this approach failed sooner rather than later, as he was eventually bowled (albeit playing a fairly circumspect stroke).
After 12 overs we were just 28/2, and with the required rate now well above a run a ball it was pretty clear we weren't going to threaten Harlton's total. Which made it even more surprising that a few of their players started trying to needle the batsmen and the umpires - or, both simultaneously. Front and centre here was Stephan's "friend" from the first innings, whose witty cry of "We love a dot ball" had gotten a very good airing given our batsmen's inability to score. It seemed was going to be rewarded for his commentary work by getting a bowl and so naturally started doing some shoulder warm-ups . . . but his decision to start his routine at short-cover while the current bowler was running in could perhaps have been thought through more carefully. The batsman pulled away, explaining why, which should have been the end of it, not least because their captain/'keeper had noticed the movement himself; but the fielder instead decided to make the obviously false claim that he hadn't done anything. (It's worth pausing for a second to consider the thought process that leads one to double down after such a minor infraction when a simple "sorry, my mistake" would result in it instantly being forgotten, rather than being immortalised in a match report.) He at least didn't repeat his calisthenics on subsequent deliveries, although it was another curious choice to then go to the opposite extreme of standing stock-still at attention, a sufficiently witty response to make one long for a return to the halcyon days of the previously tiresome "We love a dot ball!" mantra. Not that was done there, subsequently broadening his repertoire to include with send-offs, accusations of time-wasting, and disputing the umpire's decisions with a set of incisive queries that would have made Sherlock Holmes proud:
"Did you signal a boundary?!?"
"Yes."
"Did the ball cross the line?"
"No."
"Did the fielder step over the line?"
"Yes."
"Was he was touching the ball at the time?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
Needless to say, this cross-examination was during his own bowling spell - which, not altogether unpleasingly, was the most expensive of the whole day. This was largely due to Sam Thomas (26 off 35 balls), who imported his tennis-player's footwork to great effect, walking down the pitch even before the bowler had started his run up, before then using his tennis-player's eye to repeatedly hit across the line. Andy Owen (16 off 16 balls) was similarly successful as he attacked the short leg-side boundary - although this, sadly, was in the penultimate over of our innings, and was the first time we'd really managed to do this all day.
By this stage we had, as so often before, been reduced to chasing a fourth batting point, which we failed to get. There'd been lots of good contributions - our lowest score was Huw Davies's 6 (off 12 balls), and nobody else was dismissed for less than 12 - and we'd also avoided collapses - our second lowest partnership was 14. On the other hand, only Sam made it past 20, with Cam, Vaughan, Daniel Mortlock (18 off 37 balls), Vibhu Tewary (12 off 12 balls) and Stephan van Eeden (12 off 13 balls) all squandering starts; and none of our partnerships were greater than the 27 we'd put on for the first wicket. It's tempting to blame the pitch, and certainly all the batsman received essentially unplayable deliveries that leapt over the bat or shot through; but that's not how most (any?) of our wickets fell - they were mostly a combination of bad shots or calculated risks that didn't pay off.
Really, it's been like that all season - a look at the averages reveals that only four players have gotten into tripple figures for the season and the highest score all year is Olly Rex's 50* against Comberton. The cricketing cliche might be that bowlers win matches, but runs are pretty handy as well, and we just haven't been scoring many. It's hence no surprise that relegation beckons, although our fate is at least in our own hands: there are three other teams (Milton, Madingley and Longstowe) alongside us with between 124 and 129 points, and we play each in turn to finish our summer.